The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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