It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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