Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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