We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
