I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
