who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
