So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
