I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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