Your face is a jimmy john
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
