it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
