what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
