Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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