I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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