can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
