So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The Olympian is in my bed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
