Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i dont even know how to be here
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
