Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
