i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
