suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
