Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
