Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
