four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
