im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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