Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
