ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
