this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You can't just leave with hair like that
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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