sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
