I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
