We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
