just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
