how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
