Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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