You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
