I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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