If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
