Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
