I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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