Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
