Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Randomize
