She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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