Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
tequila makes me forget i have legs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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