from now on my penis is your penis
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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