Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
