when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
