dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
