I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
