gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
