we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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