? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
