it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
