Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
