Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
