at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
