there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
