If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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